i am officially pulling the boys from their daycare center, and signed them up at a home daycare. and while i am ecstatic about our new "home away from home," i am left heartbroken about the lack of genuineness with our center.
see, nothing happened at the center. there is not one single incident that made me switch daycares. it's an accumulation of many small things, though.
mainly, i have never been in love with them. only comfortable. i know have high expectations, but i have always felt like i have just settled. do they provide great care? yes. do my boys enjoy going there? yes. have i ever worried about their safety? not one bit. so, it's never been about the formalities of a daycare center.
however, it is about being treated with genuine care as a parent. i've been in customer service for over ten years, so i know what good service looks and most importantly, feels like. that is where i am having a hard time. when i go into the office, i want to be called by my name and i want you to look me in the eye when i have a concern about my child. i don't want to be poo-pooed like i have been in the past. as a parent, i want you to go above and beyond to make me feel like my boys are getting the best care in town and that they are loved.
so, when i went in to submit in writing our two week notice, one of the assistant directors gave me a lack-luster "aww", a blank sheet of paper, and a blank stare. not one question of why we're leaving, not a "we'll miss your boys," not a single word.
i cried all the way home. i cried making supper. i cried calling aaron.
like i said, i know i shouldn't be this emotional. BUT, that cold shoulder feeling that i got made me feel as if the last 2.5 years that my boys have been going here meant nothing to them. that when i dropped my heart off that very first day at 8 weeks, and then every single work day after that, it was another paycheck they were collecting, not another heart they were taking in; my heart. its a slap in my face.
i know they are a business. but there is a difference in being a business and feeling like a business. it just confirms that i'm making the right decision. i've tried and tried to love our daycare. and time and time again, i have just wound up heartbroken. {like the time they didn't bother to make a mother's day card or when they made me get a doctor's note for cloth diapers or when i was told i had the longest run of incident reports for biting: 11 within 14 days...and that child is STILL in my son's room.}
i am going to miss a lot of the faces there, and i know the boys will. but i am excited to finally have consistency in care with a familiar face that i found was lacking at a center. too many shifts and too much turnaround. plus, if it wasn't for the center, i wouldn't have found two of my greatest friends, maggie and maria. they made my transition from full-time mom to full-time working mom bearable. and most importantly {at the time}, they taught me how to swaddle!
so, we are moving on. the boys are going to love their new daycare, and james didn't want to leave last night after we signed the new contract. my heart was heavy leaving them at the center this morning, but i need to remember that it's their loss, not ours. i'm doing what i can for my boys and myself. a new chapter starts soon, and i'm hopeful for a turn for the better.
and finally a picture of my sweets. because they make this whole working-mom-heartache-thing worth it.
