My Simple, Beautiful Life

a simple, beautiful life

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

moving on

i shouldn't be so emotional about this.  but i am. 

i am officially pulling the boys from their daycare center, and signed them up at a home daycare.  and while i am ecstatic about our new "home away from home," i am left heartbroken about the lack of genuineness with our center.

see, nothing happened at the center.  there is not one single incident that made me switch daycares.  it's an accumulation of many small things, though.   

mainly, i have never been in love with them.  only comfortable.  i know have high expectations, but i have always felt like i have just settled.  do they provide great care?  yes.  do my boys enjoy going there?  yes.  have i ever worried about their safety?  not one bit.  so, it's never been about the formalities of a daycare center. 

however, it is about being treated with genuine care as a parent.  i've been in customer service for over ten years, so i know what good service looks and most importantly, feels like.  that is where i am having a hard time.  when i go into the office, i want to be called by my name and i want you to look me in the eye when i have a concern about my child.  i don't want to be poo-pooed like i have been in the past.  as a parent, i want you to go above and beyond to make me feel like my boys are getting the best care in town and that they are loved. 

so, when i went in to submit in writing our two week notice, one of the assistant directors gave me a lack-luster "aww", a blank sheet of paper, and a blank stare.  not one question of why we're leaving, not a "we'll miss your boys," not a single word. 

i cried all the way home.  i cried making supper.  i cried calling aaron. 

like i said, i know i shouldn't be this emotional.  BUT, that cold shoulder feeling that i got made me feel as if the last 2.5 years that my boys have been going here meant nothing to them.  that when i dropped my heart off that very first day at 8 weeks, and then every single work day after that, it was another paycheck they were collecting, not another heart they were taking in; my heart.  its a slap in my face.

i know they are a business.  but there is a difference in being a business and feeling like a business.  it just confirms that i'm making the right decision.  i've tried and tried to love our daycare.  and time and time again, i have just wound up heartbroken.  {like the time they didn't bother to make a mother's day card or when they made me get a doctor's note for cloth diapers or when i was told i had the longest run of incident reports for biting: 11 within 14 days...and that child is STILL in my son's room.}   

i am going to miss a lot of the faces there, and i know the boys will.  but i am excited to finally have consistency in care with a familiar face that i found was lacking at a center.  too many shifts and too much turnaround.  plus, if it wasn't for the center, i wouldn't have found two of my greatest friends, maggie and maria.  they made my transition from full-time mom to full-time working mom bearable.  and most importantly {at the time}, they taught me how to swaddle! 

so, we are moving on.  the boys are going to love their new daycare, and james didn't want to leave last night after we signed the new contract.  my heart was heavy leaving them at the center this morning, but i need to remember that it's their loss, not ours.  i'm doing what i can for my boys and myself.  a new chapter starts soon, and i'm hopeful for a turn for the better.

and finally a picture of my sweets.  because they make this whole working-mom-heartache-thing worth it.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013


well, we are officially east siders.  no key to the city, no fireworks, no welcome wagon.  i will dare to conclude that the city of egf doesn't really care that the vigs are here to stay.  {pshhh!}

and with that, we have officially been introduced to egf's snottiness.  i mean, we always knew they were snotty, but last night, it slapped us {me} in the face.

as the new neighbor on the block, we want to put forth our best foot, right? however, it's like a 'one-upper' on mowing.  just when you think you're in the clear, the neighbor goes out and makes you look all bad, and then the domino effect comes into play and everyone has to mow their lawn. 

however, they haven't met the vigs.  {sigh}.  aaron has his own agenda with the yard.  as in, let's wait until it looks like a hayfield to mow.  and then lets mow it with the old crappy mower with uneven blades to make it look like shit.  and it'll be ok because it's mowed, right? 

and so when you mow a hayfield, you gotta get the bailer out.  or in our case, rake that shit up so it at least looks like you're attempting to fit in and make the neighborhood look decent.  but that poses a problem when you don't have a rake.  and you're not gonna just run over to the neighbors who stay on top of their lawn and ask for a rake...especially at 9 o'clock at night because naturally your husband decides that right after the boys' bedtime is a perfect time to mow.

so aaron digs through the garage.  and bless our old farmer who sold us our house, as he left some mighty good gems for us.  {console tv with the world's biggest universal remote, ancient push lawn mower, and bejeweled pheasant art}  and what does aaron come up with?  a rusty old HAY RAKE.  of course.  now i'm glad its 9pm so nobody can see me trying to rake my front lawn with this damn thing.  if we didn't look like hicks with our hayfield, we do now.

anyways, moving on to disposing of our grass clippings.  i thought i'd be proactive and just get it done with so i drive over to the city's disposal area.  but i missed the turn and had to take the scenic route back to pull in, only to realize that it's locked.  LOCKED.  as in, you need a special badge to scan and let you in.  wtf?  who keeps their grass clipping disposal area under lock and key?!  and furthermore, who the hell is going to break in and steal it?!

of course i'm horrified, and to make things worse, it's a one-way in and one-way out kind of area.  so as i'm backing out onto major traffic {major for egf}, two vehicles are trying to get in.  now, not only do i look like an idiot, but others are witnessing it.  and what's worse, is that i still have my nd license plates, so to the snotty east siders, it looked as if i was trying to bring my nd grass clippings into their precious locked up grass clipping disposal area.  that's probably why they locked it, to keep the nd riff-raff out!

so i have been hazed.  by the city of egf.  and they're laughing, because when you sign up for garbage and water, they don't tell you all that you need to know.  they wait for you to learn the hard way and then they laugh as you look like a dumbass backing out of the one-way.

but i'll show them.  i'll drive across the river and dump my clippings in the unlocked, unmanned, totally accessible gf disposal.  snotty egf, i'm totally not paying for access to your precious disposal site.  i'll learn to be snotty in other ways.

see?  i'm not even kidding.  hicks.

disclaimer: i don't mean to offend any east siders.  however, you know you're snotty.  just admit it.  we want to be identified as our own town, not with gf.  i get it.  i will be too.  just not over this rediculous aspect.

Thursday, May 30, 2013

this & that

i owe an explanation.  i've been absent for quite awhile, and there is a perfectly good reason for it.

we've been busy!  spring has proven to be chalk full of excitement and love.  my brother and his family were home for a week visiting.  picnics outside with my boys.  walks to the park.  playing at grammy's.  playdates with little friends.  plus a mama vacation in the cities to spend much needed quality time with my sorority sisters.  nothing refuels the soul like belly laughs and beer, shopping, and rubbing baby bellies!

but, something in particular has taken most of my time, energy, and thought consumption.

we bought a house.  well...we're closing on it today.  {so it's practically official, right?}

and?  it is perfect.  it has everything we wanted on our wishlist.  even aaron is excited, and for a guy who doesn't show much emotion, he is excited.  he hugged me a bit tighter this morning.  knowing full well that today is the day.

it's been a long road, with some ups and downs.  but what journey doesn't have those?  we {and when i say we, i mean me} have been purging, packing, and living among boxes.  waiting for reality to set in, that this is actually happening.   

we are so excited to make this house our home.  remodeling is planned.  the pinterest boards are chalk full of ideas.  furniture is being ordered. 

but besides the fact that we have a full size kitchen, a backyard to play in, and all sorts of natural light peeking in through our windows, do you want to know the best part?  that there are two little boys who can't wait to move into our "new red house".  neither of the boys wanted to leave from the walk-through last night.  between the running in the backyard, jumping from the steps in our sunken livingroom, and picking out his room, james asked if we could stay so we could have a picnic there. {que heart swelling here}

we are so ready.  the next step in our adventure begins.