you don't truly know how small four walls of your house can be until you're stuck inside of it with sick littles. add in negative {as in below zero} wind chills, and two babies under two? yeah, not happening.
we have had the influenza twice. TWICE. add colds, snot, coughs, and lingering fevers on top of that. to say we're going stir crazy is a bit of an understatement.
nothing makes you want a space of your own like being trapped in a tiny apartment with two snotty, hacking, whiney babies. i know i have talked about my dream for a house on here before, but the want has become severe. as in, always-on-my-mind-obsessed, severe. and to top it off, the housing market around here SUCKS. there is just not a lot for sale. and what's worse? we're not quite ready to buy. so it's my heart against my head. my head knows better than to scour craigslist and property sites. but my heart yearns for a place to decorate. to call mine.
aaron tells me soon.
soon. what the hell does that mean?? that's something people say to avoid confrontation. it's like being pregnant and giving a due date, even though everybody knows that actual date is crap.
soon. psh.
that's what aaron told me when i asked him to marry me every day for two months straight. really? you know how impatient this girl is. why make me wait? soon, my ass. to put it in perspective, he made me wait eight years to get married. granted, we started dating at 15, but still. you would think that he'd know me well enough that patience is most definitely not a strong trait of mine.
{sigh.} we will get there. just as we will all start feeling better. and i hate to wish the time away, as these two littles need me present, and i promised myself i would be. but that doesn't stop my heart for wanting more. knowing that its right within reach, i just need the word from aaron and my pinterest boards will light up with decorating ideas. {insert images of clark griswald's house and his excitement. totally that girl.}
one day. i just need my heart and mind to get in sync with each other and get me through to that day.
one day soon.
