six.

and then he was six.  six months.

how in the world did you get this old?  who is this smiley, strawberry blond, two bottom and one snaggle toothed six month old? 

drew, you are a total sweetheart.  you melt everyone with that huge smile of yours, and those bright eyes.  how could you not??  let's go over just a few stats of where you are at, at a mighty six months:

stats: n/a.  12-18 month clothes, so let's just chalk it up as you're a monster.
foods: loving all veggies and drinking 6 ounces of formula every 3 hours.
sleeping: all through the night since 10 weeks!  you finally learned how to fall asleep without a swaddle, and no more fighting me to fall asleep.  the 2.5 hours of {shushing/bouncing/crying} trying to fall asleep...well, basically sucked.
milestones: you love your tummy time.  hate sitting.  rolling anywhere and everywhere.  james especially loves when you sneak up on him when he's playing cars.  he laughs and screams, "dooo! you getting me!"  
favorites: your blankie.  sophie.
new things: cloth diapers. helmet. three chompers.
personality: laid back like daddy.  i'm gonna go ahead and appreciate it while you're little, but, don't even think about keeping it like your dad.  because quite honestly, i can hardly put up with just him.  i don't need two suuuuupppppeerrrrrrr slow, inable to tell time, laid back boys to make me late everywhere!  

most of all, drew, you make our family whole.  you taught me that my heart {and lap} is big enough for two boys.  you taught me that i am capable of a lot more than i thought i was.  you taught me that your mama bear knows when to trust her instincts, and will do all i can to do whats right for you and your brother.  thank you for being the apple of my eye.

i love you, drewbear!
love, mama

{sigh}. my heart.

time.

time, please stand still for a moment.

let me squeeze my babies just a little bit tighter.  longer.  and then some more after that.

my baby is turning two this week.  and that scares the bejeezus out of me.  i am absolutely in love with james being 23 months old.  he is so curious, so happy, and so incredibly sweet.  he loves drew.  he loves ernie.  he loves anything with wheels.  he’s asked for a green bike for his birthday.  and this mama is SO going to deliver!  {sidenote: james has also asked for a green puppy, but he will have to settle with his sweet green bike!} 

as exciting as every day is with him, i am a tad bit heartbroken when the day is done.  he is becoming more and more independent, and as much as that is so awesome and my heart fills with pride over that, it is completely bittersweet, too.  i know that it won’t be long before he doesn’t need me to help find ernie.  or that he doesn’t want me to kiss his owies.  or that he won’t need to hold my hand down the two flights of stairs every morning. 

i know i grumble and take for granted these sweet gestures, probably even daily.  however, in my reflecting of the last year, i have come to the conclusion that i don’t like this growing up business.  yes, i’m excited to see what james can accomplish and do in the next year, as i know he is going to be larger than life, i’m sure!  but as any mother can attest to, i’m sure, there is a tinge in my heart that also misses that sweet face that holds up both arms and asks, “hold you, mama?”

i didn’t feel this way when he turned one.  i mean, apart of me was sad and reflected, but not like now.  like with drew, i am excited and constantly amazed at the milestones that he is reaching.  but it seems as if after that first year, the milestones switch into high gear and they learn something new every day, instead of every month. 

my baby is going to be two.  and after a bit more self-wallowing, i will be ready to tackle the awesomeness {barring tantrums/attitude/general boyness} that is yet to come.  i just need to squeeze my baby just a little bit tighter.  longer.  and then some more after that. 

my {not so little} baby

a new journey

i'm starting a new journey.  a journey in blogging.  i want a place to ramble, think out loud, and most of all, preserve those precious memories of my boys growing up.

i have always been a writer.  i used to write in a journal everyday, and sadly i got out of the habit of writing five things i'm thankful for each day.  i am a much better writer than speaker.  and when i don't have the words to say, i find that when i put my pen to paper, the words seem to flow easier.  hopefully i will find that blogging will fill that void when i need to share how incredibly blessed i am.

lastly, i want to remember my boys little.  i find it sad that looking back at pictures, i forget so quickly at how little they once were.  everyone gets caught up in the mumble-jumble of life, and once you take a quick breather to reassess, you realize how much growth there has been.  i want to remember them little.